


The Derby

by needleyecandy



Series: Silly September [9]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Crack, M/M, demolition derby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-18
Updated: 2015-09-18
Packaged: 2018-04-21 09:19:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4823561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/needleyecandy/pseuds/needleyecandy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor has pulled Loki from the quinjet and carried him away for a private confrontation.</p><p>It goes a little differently than in the movie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Derby

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everyone! I wanted to let you know that if you, like me, tend to just watch the Loki/Thor tag for new fics, that some of the upcoming stories will be in Loki&Thor instead. 
> 
> Enjoy!

"Where is the Tesseract?" Thor demanded. 

Loki gave his bitterest laugh. He had practiced it for countless hours while he drifted in the void. "I missed you, too," he taunted. 

Thor steeled himself against the emotions that surged through his veins. Relief at Loki's survival vied with anger at his keeping himself hidden, all of which tangled with the necessity of maintaining focus on his reason for being here. "Do I look to be in a gaming mood?" 

"Oh, you should thank me. With the Bifrost gone, how much dark energy did the Allfather have to muster to conjure you here, your precious Earth?" _To your precious mortal, rather. Loki still hadn't given her that promised visit. And oh, how he hated her..._

Thor interrupted Loki's thoughts. "I thought you dead." 

As if he cared. As if he hadn't been stuck back on Asgard moping over being separated from _Jane._ It had to be her, of course. "Did you mourn?" Loki asked, already knowing the truth. No, Thor mourned the absence of another - not Loki - from his life. But- 

"We all did," Thor said. Even with all that had occurred when Thor last came to Midgard - the banishment, the Destroyer - Thor found it impossible to believe that Loki could think his own brother would not mourn him. They had been raised together, they played and fought together from before he could remember. "Our father..." 

" _Your_ father!" Loki snarled. "He _did_ tell you my true parentage, did he not?" 

Thor froze in his tracks. "Your what?" 

Loki blinked, wondering if it was possible that Thor truly had been kept in ignorance. "My true parentage," he said again. "Odin did tell you that I was an abandoned runt frost giant child of Laufey that he kidnapped to use in some ill-planned scheme to bring peace or unite the realms or some other such claptrap, did he not?" 

"So... biologically, we are not brothers?" Thor asked. 

"Correct. Do try to keep up," Loki chided. 

"Oh." Thor didn't know what he had expected Loki to say, but that definitely was not it. "Well, in that case, would you like to go on a date?" 

Loki shrugged. "Yes, all right." 

He didn't technically know where the Tesseract was, but Thanos was such a fat-headed idiot who spent all his time simpering after Death - while leaving Loki to do all the real work - that it wasn't difficult to figure it out. Once they had the Stone, it took barely any effort for the two of them to bring Thanos down (he was even grateful for it; after years of sighing and swooning and scribbling painfully adolescent poetry in hidden notebooks, Death finally took him). 

"Where would you like to go?" Thor asked courteously as they dusted off their clothes. 

"You know Midgard better than I. You're the one who used to live here," Loki said, his slightly shy tone barely hiding the depths of his self-consciousness at having been the instrument of Thor's extended banishment. 

"I saw a poster for a demolition derby. Would you enjoy that, do you think?" 

"I know not what it is," Loki admitted. "I find myself partial to the name, though." 

"Aye, I thought you might," Thor said, clapping his hand around the back of Loki's neck. 

Loki smiled and mirrored the gesture. 

"Shall we fly together, as once we used to?" 

It was a matter of seconds before Loki was in position, his feet firmly planted on one of Thor's and his arms tight around his shoulders, and they were off. Once they were high enough, it was easy to find the fairground - it was lit up like a beacon, gray fumes were pluming into the sky, and the parking lot was brimming with the sort of oversized truck that suggests poor compensation skills. 

Thor brought them down near the back of the parking lot, where Loki changed the appearance of their clothing to better blend in with the crowd. They would still stand out, what with their height and their utterly fabulous hair, but it was a great deal more discreet than their previous look. 

They walked up to the gate. Halfway through the parking lot, Thor took Loki's hand. They got their share of _looks_ after that, but Loki had put Thor in a sleeveless shirt, and he was still carrying Mjolnir, so looks were all they got. 

"Oh. Money," Thor said as they reached the ticket booth. 

"In your pocket," Loki answered smoothly. 

"Why mine?" Thor asked, smiling. 

"You're the one who asked me out. That means you're paying," Loki said. As though his own trousers were roomy enough for a wallet. 

Thor bought their tickets and they went inside. There was still half an hour before it was scheduled to start, and they were able to get nearly ringside seats. 

"What is that stuff?" Loki asked, pointing at a woman carrying a stick with a huge blue cloud on top. 

"I do not know." 

"What are those things?" Loki asked, pointing at a man carrying a paper tray filled with small brown things covered in white dust. 

"I do not know." 

"I want them." 

"We just sat down," Thor pointed out. 

"I haven't eaten in three years," Loki replied. 

Thor returned shortly. "Cotton candy," he said, holding out the blue stuff, "and funnel cake." 

They ate happily, and when the first cars came out they cheered as heartily as the rest of the fans. The people in front of them moved away, glaring, and they moved down to lean on the edge of the safety barrier. 

"That was very kind," Thor commented. 

"Indeed," Loki agreed, watching them go. His curiosity was quickly forgotten with the first good revving of the engines down below, though. 

The cars had tires that appeared far too large and no glass anywhere. The engines roared and spewed black smoke from the tailpipes as the drivers took their places and an announcer got the crowd to yell more and more loudly until he dropped a flag and all the cars burst forwards, aiming directly at each other. 

"This is madness," Loki said happily as they watched the humans try to kill each other. 

"It is," Thor agreed. He snuck the last handful of cotton candy to munch as they watched car after car dragged away, ruined. 

The first four bouts were cars. Trucks followed, more capable of both withstanding and inflicting damage. And then, the thing that everyone had been waiting for. Thor had seen the word on the poster, but it had made no sense. He understood now, as the huge machine, made of several trucks welded roughly together, rolled out into the center of the arena. It had long legs ending in trucks, stubby arms ending in grilles, and a huge gaping maw. Truckasaurus. At the drop of the flag, it began taking huge bites out of the competition, leaving truck after truck half-eaten and strewn about the grounds. 

"You could defeat it," Loki said as they watched the driver climb out to accept his trophy. 

Thor shrugged. "I am mighty. It would be like taking candy from a Midgardian." 

"Yes, that would be more fun. I want the pink kind this time. Go take me some." 

"I will _buy_ you some." 

"No, never mind, then." 

"Very well. What would you like instead?" 

Loki leaned over and whispered in his ear. It was not something Thor would have expected of his high-strung and cagey brother, but he liked it. And when they returned to Asgard an hour later, Loki already bound and gagged, they most certainly did not stop by to see their father in the throne room. 


End file.
